Every month we will look at a problem that a young person has sent to the HotHoose Helpline.
If you’d like us to consider putting your problem here in the HotHoose HELPLINE page please email us with the subject ‘Problem Page’
All names will be changed and different members of the team will give advice to see if we can help.
This months problem – “I can’t stop overthinking”
I feel really nervous and on edge all the time. I hate it. I lie in my bed at night and I can’t get to sleep because I’m overthinking everything in my head. Every little thing that happens in my day I overthink. I’m so sick of it and I just want to feel normal again. I can’t remember how it feels to relax!
Please help me. Jillian, 14.
What the team said
Thanks for getting in touch and being so open about how you are feeling Jillian. It certainly isn’t easy. It sounds like you are going through a tough time and your head isn’t getting a break from thoughts that are swirling around. Some things that might help you to try and relax before going to bed could be listening to a relaxation app (Headspace, Calm). These are apps you can download on your phone that has lots of themed sessions on everything from stress and sleep to focus and anxiety. It might just take the edge off and allow you to calm your mind to get to sleep.
Change our routine
What is your nighttime routine? Maybe try and include activities in your nighttime routine like having a bath, taking a shower, talking to a friend or a family member. Talking things through with someone else can really help. Maybe try and ask yourself “ What would my friend say if she knew I was thinking these things?” or Maybe ask yourself “If this was my friend what advice would I give her?” Allow yourself to be as kind and compassionate to yourself as you would be to others.
Here at HOT, we run the Nae Worries Group and it sounds like it could be something that would really benefit you and help you manage these difficult feelings and thoughts that are stopping you from having the peaceful sleep that you deserve.
The group focuses on a range of creative activities to help you explore your feelings, develop goals around your emotional health and resilience, and develop some positive coping strategies to help you manage difficult feelings.
The group runs for a 10 week period. If you did decide this was something you would like to try please just contact me for a referral form and I would meet with you to discuss the group further. I know going to a group can be a daunting experience so I want to ensure this is as easy and supportive as possible for you to attend.
We have offer 1-1 support where you could meet with one of the project workers to work on anxiety or we have an email support line where you could email our projects worker about a particular issue you are looking for advice or support with and we would get back to you as quickly as possible.
Most importantly Jillian, you are not alone.
If you want to talk, we want to listen and things will get better.
This month’s problem is from Sara (age 13)
“I’m having loads of trouble on Social Media with so-called ‘friends’. People are mean and cruel and say really horrible things about some of my posts. I know I shouldn’t look and I should just ignore it, but sometimes I don’t want to switch my phone off in case I miss something and I keep on looking at it just to check what people are saying. Please help!”
What The Team Said…
AJ – Hi Sara, thanks for sharing your problem with us. This can be a real worry and I really feel for you and how much this is affecting you. Sometimes it is very easy for people to tell you to ‘just ignore it’, but this can be easier said than done.
Sometimes when people say horrible things about us, we really believe them, this can affect our self-esteem and it can become a vicious cycle. It can help to talk this through with someone to help break this cycle and find ways to cope and build stronger, more positive beliefs about ourselves.
You can come and speak to one of the Health Opportunities Team workers at one of our drop-ins
If you are worried you are being bullied or experiencing a hate crime, you can show the posts to a trusted Teacher or Parent/Carer and get more support on dealing with this. If people are saying anything racist or homophobic, this is against the law and action can be taken by the Police.
Choose your online friends and acquaintances carefully
You can hide, block and unfriend people online, and you can choose who you want to have on your social media. Think about it this way, if you’re not really friends with them in everyday life, are you really friends with them online?
Surround yourself with positivity
Whenever you can, surround yourself with positive people who make you feel happy and good about yourself. Think of all the things that make you feel good and activities you can do that make you feel better, like listening to music, going for a walk in the sunshine, or watching your favourite TV shows.
Be kind to yourself, you are worth it!